Aries (March 21- April 19): Ugh. This weather, amirite? It’s almost as turbulent as the feelings inside you right now. You’ve definitely got some stuff going on. Feelings. So many feelings! Sometimes they conflict. Sometimes they unite to rage and rain hellfire on those around you. Sometimes they just need a warm blanket and a snuggle.

Taurus (April 20- May 20): Sometimes you have to really weigh all the options. Could you take a job that pays more but also comes with loads of responsibilities and stress? Yes. But could you also take a slightly lower paying job that is relaxed and fills your heart with joy? The better yes.

Gemini (May 21-June 20): So many winding roads and paths that you could take. Figuring out which one you want to amble down is the hard part. Get out of your head and stop weighing all the options. Let your intuition and heart take the wheel for a while. It will be an adventure.

Cancer (June 21-July 22): So you designed the tattoo you’re going to get while playing with all that extra ketchup last week right? Was it a new design that you had never thought of before? Was it something that you’ve been wanting for years but are afraid of going through with? Are you worried about it being on your body the rest of your life and you’ll have regrets? I get that. Remember that you are prone to taking giant leaps of faith and it all working out. Go for it!

Leo (July 23-Aug 22): Well, you can’t always get what you want. Sometimes it’s okay to be shot down when asking for something. It helps keep that larger than life ego in place. Does it still sting? Hell yes. But you never know, it could be a blessing in disguise.

Virgo (Aug 23-Sept 22): What brings you joy? Is it the uninhibited enlightenment that comes with dancing to your favorite song? Is it acts of service to those in need? Is it spending time with rowdy little feral kids? Whatever it is, embrace it and cultivate it.

Libra (Sept 23-Oct 22): I think you need some alone time. A self imposed timeout if you will. You’ve been a tad impatient and ornery lately. It happens! Check out for a while and do some self care. I want you to turn off your phone, turn on a podcast, eat all the donut holes, and paint your toenails. You’ll be better on the other side. Trust me.

Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21): It’s so difficult when you take a giant plunge and then the results are far different than what you expected. Like, duh, of course you couldn’t account for all the variables. All you can do now is keep going with the flow and see how it plays out.

Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21): The universe is telling me that you need a really good horoscope this week. You’re going to win the lottery this week! Just kidding. But I’m here to tell you that everything is going to work out. Not necessarily the way you expect. Or want. But it’s going to work out.

Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19): Know your worth. Watching this Great Resignation play out has been fascinating. Worker bees are finally demanding to be compensated fairly for the work they do. If you haven’t already, ask for that raise. If you get shot down, go find an employer who values the amazing asset you are. Viva la revolución!

Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18): Sometimes you just need to eat a giant plate of waffles to make everything better. Don’t believe me? Try it, and then report back to me. Bonus points if you use real maple syrup.

Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20): Wow, does your face give you away sometimes! That thing that someone said, that stung? Yes, you visibly took a huge breath so you wouldn’t snap. That person that undermined your intelligence? Oh yeah, your eyes rolled so hard they about popped out of your head. I’d say that you should work on your poker face, but nah. Let those around you know how you really feel.