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(Not Based on Astrology)

Aries (March 21- April 19): If you’re walking down the beach and a couple of random beach bums ask you if you want to go parasailing, do it. No matter that a 10 year old kid is harnessing you in and there are straps hanging around that appear as though they are important. It’ll all work out.

Taurus (April 20-May 20): When traveling abroad, Eat. The. Street. Food. Do not, however, drink the water.

Gemini (May 21-June 20): Follow your inner seahorse.

Cancer (June 21-July 22): If you like pina coladas and dancing in the rain, then have I got a place you should visit. Start walking south. Just keep going.

Leo (July 23-Aug 22): Did you know the official mascot of Singapore is the Merlion? It’s a cross between a lion and a fish. There are female and male Merlions too. You better go check it out on the google webs, stat.

Virgo (Aug 23-Sept 22): Your assignment this week is to learn a greeting in five different languages. Maybe the top five you’re most likely to use. But maybe a totally random one in a language like Njerep.

Libra (Sept 23-Oct 22): Imagine you lived in a different country. Which one would you choose? Besides beautiful Mexico, that’s too easy.

Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21): What’s your favorite ethnic food? Indian? Mexican? Mediterranean? Now think of your favorite dish from that cuisine. Do you have it in your head? Now go look up a recipe for that dish and make it this weekend. Adventures in cooking!

Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21): Do you even know how many countries there are in the world? Me neither. Please find out and get back to me.

Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19): Here’s a questionable idea for you. Just for funsies you should switch the language setting on your phone to a language that you’ve always wanted to learn, or are practicing. Good luck changing it back to English.

Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18): What are three national parks you’ve always wanted to visit but haven’t had a chance to yet? Well, the stars are telling me that 2022 is the year to check them off your list. Get planning!

Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20): Just when you think you are about to sail off into your vacation sunset, what happens? You catch a real bad cold. But would you rather have a cold at home or on the beach? Perspective!